Three Days, Five Outfits: Why Indian Weddings Feel Like a Full-Time Job
My first West Coast wedding ended before my digestive system had even realized it was invited. There was a gentle ceremony under tall trees, a round of toasts, some dancing and we were home by 10 p.m. My brain, raised on Indian weddings where you measure time in caterer shifts, kept waiting for the real events to start.
💡 QUICK INTEL
Scope: Indian multi-day weddings vs compact West Coast ceremonies
Central Question: Why does it take three days to say “I do” in India?
Survival Gear: Extra outfits, electrolytes, flexible expectations
Emotional Theme: Community and ritual, not just the couple
What all those extra days are actually doing
An Indian wedding is less a single event and more a small temporary universe. In many families, there is a pre-wedding engagement, mehndi, sangeet, haldi, the main ceremony and at least one reception. Each has its own dress code and guest list. Some functions are religious, some social, many sit in between. The logic is simple. In a culture where family networks spread like banyan roots, you need multiple formats to include everyone.
The sangeet is where cousins unveil dance routines rehearsed for weeks. The haldi is intimate and messy, a turmeric paste spa day for the couple, surrounded by laughter and aunties trying not to cry. The main ceremony, whether Hindu, Sikh, Muslim or Christian, is dense with fire, circles, vows and readings. The reception is the distribution phase, where colleagues and distant relatives arrive, shake hands, admire outfits and quietly check who married “well.”
Why West Coast weddings feel emotionally efficient
On the West Coast, weddings compress meaning into a few carefully planned hours. Guest lists are shorter, budgets lean toward venue, photography and food instead of days of hospitality. The couple’s story sits at the center: how they met, why they chose each other, what they want from life. Parents and extended family are honoured, but they orbit the couple rather than the other way around.
When Indians from Bay Area or Portland families marry in India, hybrid formats appear. You might see a short, Western-style vow exchange in the afternoon, followed the next day by a full baraat with a horse and brass band. The same couple that wrote their own secular vows may also sit through an hour of Sanskrit mantras translated on the fly for confused classmates.
How to attend an Indian wedding without burning out
As a non-Indian guest, say yes to as many events as you can, but pace yourself. You do not have to wear Indian clothing, but people will be delighted if you try. Ask friends about borrowing outfits before panic shopping online. Hydrate well, especially during afternoon outdoor ceremonies. Above all, do not treat the schedule as rigid. In India, “7 p.m. start” often means “people will wander in from 8 onwards.”
As an Indian living on the West Coast, you may miss the unstructured hours. Late-night corridor conversations in hotel hallways, shared makeup kits, secret snack runs between events, all vanish in a single tidy dinner. That is fine. Different cultures distribute emotion in different shapes. One prefers long, overlapping waves. The other prefers short, well-lit scenes.
“An Indian wedding is less about witnessing one moment and more about marinating in a relationship until everyone smells faintly of haldi and hairspray.”
— Priya
The Verdict: Indian weddings are not long just for drama. They are long because they are doing complicated social work. If you enter them as a short-term resident rather than a punctual guest, their length starts to make sense.